1 Peter 3:1-4 has been my anthem for the last 30 years and I have had the opportunity to share it’s merits with many struggling women. I was that struggling woman myself. If you know me you know I am quite outgoing and have a big personality. When I walk into a room I introduce myself to people and by the end of the event I have several new friends. Quiet? Not even in my radar. I am not taking obnoxious or annoyingly loud; I would say “personable”.
I come from a family who, when gathered together, talks over each other. The other night we had a birthday party for my dear sister. While inside my ears started ringing and I couldn’t figure out why. As I left and closed the door behind me I knew why. Boy was it loud in there! Big noisy wonderful loud. My precious brother Tim gets the “loudest in the family” award. He walks in and you know he’s there. His presence is unmistakable. He will say “Amen” at church and you know he means it. When Tim was a baby his ear drums burst and his hearing was damaged. I really don’t think he can hear himself. We laugh hard and loud and love even harder.
My “little” brother!
So you can imagine my shagrin when the Lord led me to 1Peter 3 while in the midst of praying for my husband’s salvation. I had been pouring my heart out to God daily asking Him to deal with Steve when all along I should have been asking Him to deal with me! Coming across the gentle and quiet spirit part was quite a blow. How in the world? You know those sweet soft spoken women with the delightful smile and gentle touch. They would never even hurt a fly! They are graceful, very spiritual, demure, always proper. I was being misled by the enemy of my soul as he constantly whispered in my ear “you will NEVER be like that no matter how hard you try.” Defeated was written all over me. I tried to be like them but people kept asking me what was wrong with me. Was I not feeling well? Was I mad? I was going about it all wrong.
Sitting across from a dear friend over two cups of fancy coffee I pondered that question out loud to her. Her advice has never left my ears. She said that I could have a gentle and quiet spirit. It was a matter of the heart. Praying for the Lord to reveal what that would look like for me would be my mission. I desperately wanted that. Marveling at her wisdom at such a young age I took her advice. I began praying those verses in earnest for myself. I prayed that God would change me from the inside; that He would show me what that looked like for me.
Things began to change around my house. Our home became a place of peace. Women you set the tone for your home. How you react and respond is huge. My husband came home one night after months of my metamorphesis and said that he really enjoyed coming home to me not yelling at the kids. It was a nice break. He noticed! Several years (yes, I said several years) later he came to Jesus. He told me it wasn’t what I said to him it was how I acted. He was observing my life, daily. Something had changed, he mentioned. Consciously I stopped the nagging about church and all things God and Jesus and just prayed. I asked God to make me the wife he needed and him the husband I needed. God did what only He can do; He changed hearts. God knit us together. It took years but I persevered because our marriage was worth saving.
Today I have many opportunities to counsel and pray with precious women in dire circumstances, ready to walk away. I always lead them to 1Peter 3 because I have been in their shoes. It’s a marathon I tell them. We have to be willing to empty ourselves of “self” and focus on Jesus. Results take time. Let God do the work in you, precious one. Contact me and let me know. I will pray for you because you are worth fighting for and we fight that enemy on our knees! ❤️ #whenyouwalkwiththewise